I Quit My Job...Oops?

I have been trying for a year and a half to find an elementary teaching job. I was unsuccessful and was forced to substitute teach during this time. Depression and anxiety found me and terrorized my well being. 3 weeks ago I decided enough was enough. I was at my breaking point. I had tried everything to make myself feel better. More than just searching for jobs, networking, and applying my brains out I tried to combat depression on my own. Hmmm doesn't work like that. I tried taking supplements (flaxseed oil and D3), journaling, writing poetry, yoga, talking to a friend, creating a food journal: I felt like I tried everything and had no other choice but to put my big girl panties on and talk to my doctor.

The irony is not lost on me because when you have depression you have no desire to eat or sleep or do anything so how the heck was I going to find motivation to seek help? Well, I found my breaking point and luckily getting help has been the biggest relief. I am now on medication and going to talk therapy and I feel like myself again. I feel better than I have in a long time. I am so thankful that I found the courage to reach out and get help. I don't no where I would be if I hadn't.

Feeling better, I decided that this year is going to be focused on putting my health and happiness first. I want to do more yoga and find a more consistent job. Subbing really drained me at the end of the day. I loved working with the kids but I did not feel like I belonged to a school or a community and that is why I needed to quit. Because this year I need to do anything and everything that makes me happy.

Before quitting, I spoke to my family about how I was feeling and was urged to stick it out for a few more months. At least until the end of the year. But with this new release of depression and anxiety I found the courage to make my own decision. I decided that I would be making my own decisions this year. This could be a huge mistake but the mistake had to be completely my own.

Prior to getting help I had begun training to be a kids yoga instructor. This brought me so much peace and solace in my life that I decided to pursue teaching yoga. I find happiness in reading books again. I am smiling again, more calm, and less anxious then ever before. Am I still struggling with money? Yes. Am I exactly where I want to be in my life? In a relationship? With a full time job? No, but I've made a great start and I'm happy. And being happy is really all I care about right now.

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